I Tried Only Doing What I Want For A Day

And this is how it turned out....

How many times have you seen a quote that says something along the lines of: live each day like it’s your last, only do what you want, etc. Well, not too long ago I rediscovered a tumblr post that said the following:

And I thought, alright, challenge accepted. I figured it would be hard (the post even says it) because many of the things done in a day are out of necessity, like going to work, or because you have to, like completing homework. And I knew it would be difficult to push those responsibilities aside, I just didn’t realize how hard it would be.

My first hurdle, as silly as it sounds, was calling out of work. Now, this could have been avoided had I scheduled time off, but for some reason, perhaps because I was afraid of being denied, I didn’t. As a result, I proceeded to make a very anxiety-inducing call about being sick and not being able to come in.

Playing hooky is something everyone has done at some point, but it’s more foreign to me, so I proceeded to feel extremely guilty about lying and not showing up when I was capable of going to work (it’s much easier to call out when you’re actually sick or have a commitment you don’t want to break).

The thing that made it extremely difficult however, was that it was surprisingly hard to break the routine. It was a random Thursday and I felt myself feeling compelled to follow the beats of the day and to break routine even though I wanted to do it, was really hard. Straying from the beaten path is really hard.

But, I got through it, I called out of work and cleared my day.

Then I faced my second hurdle, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. That sounds dumb given the entire point of the day was to only do what I want, but suddenly when faced with all the options while also still feeling jarred from my break in routine (and slightly guilty for lying), I hit a wall. All of my options sounded nice, bit nothing was jumping out at me.

At this point I decided that if I didn’t know what I wanted, I’d push myself in a direction, preferably a new one and just do it.  And since I already had a rough plan in my mind of what I wanted to do, I went forward with it.

It started with a drive to the nearby forest preserve/park and forced myself to get out of the car (because I still felt awkward and bad and clueless) and go for a walk.

A theme throughout this day was this looming fear that something would go wrong, or something bad would happen. Maybe because I kept it a secret from everybody that I was afraid, in a weird way, of getting caught, even though the likelihood of that was very low.

So I went on a slightly paranoid walk, never straying too far from my car. I think in a perfect world I wouldn’t have cared so much and gone on a proper walk through the trails but I couldn’t being myself to do that.

From there, I followed the beats of what a self-care/treat yourself kind of day would be. I came home, drew a bath (which I haven’t done in ages and actually had to scrub my tub before I filled it with water) and had a “spa” day complete with a bath bomb (my first one), a candle, spa music and a face mask.

Theme number 2 of the day was, that nothing was perfect. Even though I had more control over the day, things weren’t perfect (which makes sense cause life isn’t perfect). The water was a little too hot, I burned myself lighting the candle, and I grew kind of restless in the bath.

After that I followed my first true want of the day which was a bomb ass salad from somewhere. After some research I decided to Jason’s Deli (I had never been there before) and got their black bean taco salad.

(I would totally recommended it.)

I’m sure you’ve also seen those posts about treating yourself or taking yourself out on a date. Well my friends, I did just that, getting lunch all by myself at a place that wasn’t Taco Bell.

I hit another wall after lunch and ended up going to a few stores to look at some coats (since I need a new one), which was…fine.

Theme 3 of the day was that a lot of the time I ended up doing things I didn’t mind doing versus something I concretely wanted. Like when I didn’t know what to do after lunch, I knew I wouldn’t mind looking at some new coats, so I did. It didn’t jump out at me, but it was fine all the same.

Getting a latte before heading home once again was my other real want of the day (it’s easier to want when it comes to food I guess). Now sitting here writing this with my caramel latte, my day isn’t over. But I know as soon as my family gets home I will end up doing things I need to, rather than want. My day to myself ends in a few hours, but at the same time I get to fall back into my normal comfortable routine.

(EDIT: I did continue to do things I wanted later in the day when I had downtime again, binge watching some Youtube rather than working on editing my book because I didn’t feel like it)

So overall, how was this day? Was I able to accomplish my goal? And the answer is…kind of.

Like a lot of things in life, there’s too many shades of grey to give a concrete answer. But what I will say is that I tried. And that is what matters, because I had to really push myself to do this. It extended beyond the reaches of my comfort zone and I pushed myself despite the fear and worry, and I did it.

This day was uncomfortable for me, nice but uncomfortable, and that’s the first sign I pushed myself.

Sure I didn’t take a proper walk around the park, but it was something new and different and I’d never done it before in this manner so the fact that I even got out of my car was a big step. Sure even my “relaxing spa experience” wasn’t perfect, but at least I got to try out a bath bomb. Sure I ended up doing some window shopping that I didn’t mind doing but it was still productive and I at least walked away with a few scrunchies I’d been meaning to buy.

And most of all I wanted to do this “experiment” so I could write about it. It was a challenge, something new and different, and my real life experience to trying to do what travel vlogs and Pinterest posts encourage. And you know what, I got to try new things, push my comfort zone, and write about it to share with other people, what more could I ask for.

I’ve learned a lot from this experience and I know what I’d do differently next time, and I hope that you reading this have learned a little something too. So now I challenge you, dear reader, to try to spend a day (or as much of it as you can) only doing things you want. I’d love to hear how it goes for you, I wonder if it’ll be easier for you than it was for me. 

If you try it, please comment or if you write about it tag me so I can see how it went. I’m curious to know how other people react to this.

And this is where I leave off this absurdly long blog post with a challenge and my well wishes.

So with that, I say, see ya in the next one!