What is it like to be Demiromantic?

NOTE: As with other sexualities this is a spectrum, I am just here to talk about where I fall in it. It’s not the same for everyone and there are always different experiences.

So for the month of February I thought I’d talk about something that many people may not have heard of that is true for me, being demiromantic.

Let’s being with: what does demiromantic even mean?

Well it’s defined, for the most part as:

Usually people who are demiromantic don’t really get crushes easily, or experience attraction strangers, or even experience the normal kind of romantic attraction that comes from meeting someone you’re interested in. It takes longer to develop romantic feelings since there needs to be an emotional connection of some kind first. As a result, it often starts with friendships.

Now how does it work for me?

• I don’t really get crushes easily. The last time I remember having a crush was sixth grade when my classmates started to convince me that a guy liked me (don’t think that was ever the case)

Instead of having a crush, any inkling of romantic interest I have in people usually ends up fading away really quickly or just turning into friendships.

It’s actually pretty frustrating not knowing if you don’t like someone cause you just haven’t gotten to know them yet or if you’re actually not interested.

As for friendships leading to crushes, that hasn’t happened to me. I care a lot about people but I have never gotten crushes on any friends. I have also never fallen in love, but that’s a more general thing perhaps, regardless of being demiromantic.

• I am straight. Being demiromantic or demisexual (or anywhere on that spectrum) does not say anything about your sexual orientation.

I am straight and demiromantic.

• I do know what it’s like to feel romantic attraction. Like I stated before, I have felt snippets of things before they faded away and can get the second hand emotion through a cute story or movie. I have an active enough imagination that I can even imagine it.

Perhaps this puts me on the lighter end of the spectrum but that’s just my experience with it.

My problem for the most part, is maintain any kind of attraction (if it even forms as all) and getting to place where I can say that I am romantically attracted.

• I want a romantic relationship. This is not the case with all demiromantic people, some don’t need or want it, or feel like they can go without.

While I am fine on my own, it is something that I want.

I also want to briefly touch on another term, demisexual:

So it’s the same kind of thing as a demiromantic except with sexual desires. Demisexual people are on the asexual spectrum and often have a lower sex drive, but most importantly they need to have that emotional connection before experiencing any sexual desire.

For me, I think I mostly just fall into the “need to have an emotional connection” camp to truly feel sexual desire.

And that does it for my piece on being demiromantic! I will leave some links here to some sources where you can learn more about it if you’re interested:

• https://www.asexuality.org/en/search/?q=demiromantic
• http://wiki.asexuality.org/Demiromantic
• http://helloflo.com/mean-demisexual-demiromantic/

Anyway, I hope you liked my little February update and you gleaned some new information out of it!

Does any of this apply to you? If so, what’s your experience? Everyone has a different story, feel free to share your thoughts!

I’ll see you next month!